Pretender

"There are no two words in the English language more harmful than 'good job'."

"Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today."

“All over America high school and college kids thinking ‘Jack Kerouac is 26 years old and on the road all the time hitchhiking’ while there I am almost 40 years old, bored and jaded.”

"You know, your audience isn't even born yet."

"People, they love blood. They love action. Not this talky, depressing, philosophical bullshit."

"That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned."

"Oh Evan, thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. I never would've been able to handle your four inch dick inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube. "

"You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it."

"Would it... kill you to say something? "No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a... that's fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser. I mean, whoa daddy! Stand back, man. Shit. I'm sitting here driving. Doing all the driving, man. The whole fucking way from Brainard driving. Just trying to... chat, you know. Keep our spirits up, fight the boredom of the road, and you can't say one fucking thing just in the way of conversation. Oh fuck it. I don't have to talk to you either, man. See how you like it. Just total fucking silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence."

"Best job I've ever had."